I've often poked fun at those of you who I've convinced to spend oodles of cash on shiny new product, my local nickname of 'Games Pimp' it seems has gone global. Not too sure whether I should be proud of that, but hey stuff it, I'll take it as a compliment! However, I am now starting to understand how I must make you guys feel when you all start reading my bloody Blog. You see I have my very own Canadian games pimp, and his name is John Nguyen. This unscrupulous Canuck keeps sending me completely unsolicited emails about giant robots and hovertanks. It's all totally uncalled for and quite frankly I'm getting really fed up with it now. I mean he knows I like giant robots and hovertanks, but that I can't afford them right now, it's torture I tell you, torture! Cruel and unusual punishment it is, here let me show you what I'm talking about:
You see what I mean? How wrong is it to send a shiny addict like me a picture of THAT!!! Look at it damn you, it's a hovertank and everything. So sexy, totally pushes all of my male nerd buttons... well almost all. There's no tentacles.
Look he even sent me a 'doggy style' picture of it taken from the 'rear', nudge nudge wink wink. It's just downright provocation that is. I do like the fact that it looks a fair bit sleeker than the chunky troop carrying Sampson. This thing looks like it's meant to be a highly mobile death-dealer.
Which is totally handy because that's exactly what this thing is. The Fusilier is probably going to be my tank of choice, alongside the Voltigeur when I get a job and can pay for this stuff... oh who the hell am I kidding? When I get a job they're all going to be my tanks of choice... what the hell is wrong with me? do I need help?
Now if your Fusilier's ends up looking like this it's probably because you've been driving them wrong. Very wrong. I only really included this picture so I could say that... I thought it would sound funny... but reading it back it's not as funny as I thought... hmm... *mental note to self humour chip might be malfunctioning*
Another wide angled lens shot of the Fusilier frolicking in the deserts of Terra Nova. It's probably looking all coquettishly over it's rear thrusters at some poor guy, and batting its laser designators at them while saying "chase me, chase me!"... you dirty little... ahem... yes well...
Oh now COME ON!!! That's just totally uncalled for. That's gratuitous, that's what that is. That's the Sampson, Voltigeur and a Fusilier in a row, having a theesome! I think in the pr0n industry they call that the 'money shot'. Damn you Dream Pod 9, damn you... well played John, well played!!!
See, now tell me that isn't some form of torture. If any of you see this man called John Nguyen (if that is your real name) you have my permission to kick him in the shin and maybe give him a Chinese burn... complete and utter sod that he is. Any way that's two (Fusilier and Voltigeur) of the really sexy looking tanks that I wanted for my NuCoal forces out now... and damn do they look pretty darn good. I don't suppose anyone's got a spare kidney they fancy 'lending' me do they? Yeah, thought not. Any way this delightful resin tank will set you back $21CAN, roughly $21US and of course about £13 in real money, or thereabouts. For a limited time Dream Pod 9 will be offering a deal whereby you'll be able to buy 3 Fusiliers, which is what you need to field a full squad for $59.95CAN (EDIT: Price is actually $58.00CAN), which isn't a huge saving, but is a saving nevertheless, so if you are after these bad boys you might want to look out for that deal. Peace out!
PS Blackbrunsiwicker you still haven't got in touch, where are you? On Wednesday you won a snap competition for the Ax Faction Victorian Darling Kraken Hunter, you can find the details HERE. You now have just under 48 hours to claim her though, as on Monday 11th of June 2012, at 12:00 PM GMT I'll be selecting somebody else to win her!!!