Wednesday, 21 December 2011

Clash of the Dungeon Crawlers - Grand Final

The saki and sushi were already there apparently... hmmm

Well I think I is finally got rid of teh master, amd am totally in control of teh blog now, yay! Bout time too, as you must all have been getting bored of him constantly going on amd on bout stuffs that ain't impawtant. I will do you some real blogs soon about propurr stuffs, impawtant stuffs you really want to know about. But first we is got to finish teh dujeon crallers articles. So I is better be getting on with it I reckon!

Last time out we kats did decide that teh final should be between Dead Rising amd teh Legend of Drizzt. Yers, ver gud games both of them. So we is now got to decide which one is teh winner of teh betest, most awesomely approves fur teh kats dunjeon crawlers. Tis ver serimouse business, amd I is so not drunk on saki... hic... amd am totally taken it serimousely... ooooh... moues... I is so ver hungry. I wander if we has eny sushi left over...

Teh Grrrwand fynell
Dunjeon amd Drguns: Legeond ov Drysst Vs Derwarfs Kengs Huld: Deyed Rysun

Macavity looks smug as his plan comes together... little does he know...
Macavity: Right, tis teh final meh fellow kats, we has ver big respunsebility to gets it corect!
Tybalt: I is pissed Mmmcavtree.
Dinah: Amd I is too stuffed with teh sushi, I needs a sleepy time!
Poppy: Ooooh... meh head hurts... sleepy time sounds gud!!!
Macavity: Look, we said we could do this. What will teh hughmans think if we fails?
Tybalt: Feck 'em, they don't care enyways! They is probably rapping presants fur their kats amd stuffs.
Dinah: Please I feels a bit sick now.
Macavity: Oh meh God, teh master was right, you lot are a disgrace to kats everywhere!!!
Poppy: No showting please, it owwies meh head!
Dinah feels sorry for herself after some binge drinking!
Dinah: So what you wants us to do exactly Macca?
Macavity: Fulfil your duties as mebors of teh Minustree of Kats!!!
Tybalt: I voet fur Gears of War.
Macavity: What? No!!! Don't start with that again! I will so totally chews your ears off if you start with thst Gears nonsense.
Poppy: I loves Gears of...
Macavity: NO!!! I is not putting meh name to Gears of War as teh bestest dunjeon craller... it hasn't got a dunjeon!!!
Dinah: But we dids approves it?
Macavity: Wii appruves ov Ruby from Studio McVeys to. Is she teh bestest Dunjeon Craller? Or maybe teh Infinty Battlefoam bag should win! Yers?
Tybalt: Now you is just being silly ginge!
Macavity: It's a Macavity to you... you lazy gud fur nuthing kat!!! No moar salmon Nigiri fur you!!!
Poppy: It says here on teh Interwebs that if I drink moar saki meh head ache will go away. You think tis true?
Tybalt, Macavity & Dinah: NO!!!
Poppy: Owwie, owwie, owwie stops with teh shouting please... oooh God I is dying!!!
Tybalt decides it would be fun to wind Macavity up!
Macavity: You is not dying you is juts ver hung over! Look meh fellow kats, we has to do this or teh master wont trust us ever again...
Dinah: He is right.
Tybalt: Oh feck it. I just want to eat some moar sushi amd drink some moar saki. If we decides it quickly kan I has moar sushi amd saki?
Macavity: Yers m'kay, tis a deal.
Tybalt: Gears of War
Macavity: WHAT!!!
Tybalt: Jokin', jokin'... jees keep your fur on! Legend of Drizzt, in has a kat in it? Simple choice really.
Dinah: Yers, it does has a kat, amd Drizzt has pointy ears like a kats.
Poppy: It saes hear on teh interwebs I need some dogs hair, why would I needs some hair of teh dog?
Macavity: Concentrate Poppy, What game should win Bestest Dunjeon Craller fur kats?
Poppy: Dead Rising, we approves it.
Macavity: Oh meh God can we all just stop a minute!!!
Poppy decides to join in the fun!
Tybalt: He is getting angry I rekon!
Dinah: teehee I think you is right... oh no I need to puke! *Blurgghhh* 
Poppy: Oh no I now has need to... *Blurgghhh*
Tybalt: *Blurgghh*
Macavity: *Blurgghh* oh no what a mess *Ralf*
Dinah: *Blurggh*
Macavity: Oh come on, what are we Romans or kats? This ain't no vomitorium!
Poppy: Oh, meh head doesn't feel so bad!
Macavity: Why Drizzt Tybs amd Dinah?
Tybalt: Yu know I loves Dead Rising, there miniatures make fur great chewings, but its not a dunjeon craller.
Macavity: Dinah?
Dinah: Hol.. *Blurgghh* do you really need am answer off of meh? I might puk... *Blurgghh*
Poppy: Oh no! Right in teh masters shoe! He wont be happy bout that!
Tybalt decides to keep the party going with a bit of glue sniffing
Macavity: Oh God what have we done? Look at this mess!!! He will kill meh.
Tybalt: Lighten up ginge, whats done is done, I will eat teh peke up. Looks like there iz some fishy chunks in it! Mmmm, fishy...
Macavity: You are utterly beyond redemption Tybs, you is so ver, ver wrong!!! We has two votes fur Drizzt. Poppy why you pick Dead Rising?
Poppy: We approves it, but I guess tybs is right... tis not a dunjeon craller.
Tybalt: Wait, What? I is right again? I need to lie down.
Macavity: So you is now saying Drizzt Poppy?
Poppy: Yers I guess so.
Macavity: So we agrees it? Legend of Drizzt to be teh winner?
Poppy & Tybalt: Yers.
Dinah: *Blurrghh* yers *Blurggh*
Tybalt: Oooo a hair ball

It may have taken some time but the cats got there in the end!!!

Winna: Dunjeons amd Draguns: Legeond ov Drysst

Macavity and Poppy sleep off their saki fueled sushi binge!!!

We is finally  made our decision. We  might have taken a long time to decide, but we... erm... needed... to... erm... well... you know... erm... yers! I has it!!! We needed to make sure we got teh decison 100% right... yers... that seems plausible. Enyway I hope you enjoyed teh article much better than teh masters dreery, dry drivvel, amd that it wss informulative fur you. Now I is off to make sure Tybs does eats all that sick! Paws owet Meow!


  1. Tybalt is da awesome!

    And now I must play the lottery...cuz I called this!

    As a xenos who shares his domicile with a cat (I make no claims of 'ownership,' although I'm sure HE does), I notice that you wisely have one in virtually every color, so they may display their sheddings upon your clothing no matter what color outfit you wear.

    I also can;t help but wonder how much sushi and saki the kittehs required to reach this momentous decision...

  2. Even if I do love cats, this last posts have been an extra effort to read (I'm not a native english speaker) so I just skip to the results...

    Nice blog anyway!

  3. @SinSynn, I might be the 'master', but that's only for now. The moment these cats get opposable thumbs us human are totally screwed! As for the colours, well we wanted a complete set... although we are missing out on a black Maine Coon... just don't give Dr Brainiac anymore ideas!!!

    @Andres, sorry my good man, but I did have a lot of people asking me to do some cat articles. I did wander whether to do them or not, because I'm dyslexic and I know how difficult it can be... but in the end it was just a bit of fun and normal service will resume soon any way. I've toned the next two articles down as well.

  4. Thanks! I'm enjoying the blog, so it's great to be able to read it :)


  5. No problem Andres, I'll finish re-writing the other two articles tonight at some point no doubt. Hopefully that will mean more people can read how totally unfunny they are.