Tuesday, 20 December 2011

Clash of the Dungeon Crawlers - Semi Finals

Princess Dinah Bear of Dihnberia inspects the semi-finalists

Well I guess the quarter finals didn't go as badly as I first thought they would. Although I'm still concerned the bloody cats won't let me in the front room. Just who the hell is in charge around here any way (Macavity: 'I thought that was clear, tis us kats innit'), I'm really not sure anymore. However, what I am sure of is that the cats, despite being... erm... unorthodox in their cogitations, ruminations and deliberations, did actually manage to choose the right games to go forward into the semi-finals. Whether that validates the cats methods of discrimination is a totally different matter... oh well, I suppose I'm just going to have to let this particular piece of insanity run its course. The draw for the semi finals is as follows:

Dungeons & Dragons Legend of Drizzt Vs Claustrophobia
Dwarf Kings Hold: Dead Rising Vs Super Dungeon Explore

Excuse meh! It is meh job to introduce teh article thank you ver much! Unbelievable behaviour, you is so ver rude. Eneeway after teh quarter-finals we made some pritty gud choices I thought. We now demands respect! Bloody hughman it is our blog now, I is teh chaircat. On to teh deliburraysheons:

 Dungeons & Dragons Legend of Drizzt Vs Claustrophobia

Poppy is upset about losing 'teh munsta kittehs'

Macavity: I think we might need to hurry things along. Master is not ver happy we is still taking over teh front room.
Tybalt: Stuff him. I don't care. Let him pace up amd down outside.
Dinah: Don't let him hear you says that!
Poppy: We needs to hurry up enyway because I is getting tired and hungry.
Macavity: Quite. Now We is agreed both are gud games yers?
Tybalt: Of course we is. Both are ver gud games. But only one can be in teh final. 
Poppy: I vote Clawstrophobia, evan though it is not a true dunjeon craller, as teh competition stipoolates.
Macavity: That is ver mature of you Poppy, and I agrees with you. Clawstrophobia is teh better all round game. It offers moar than Drizzt.
Dinah: Is a shame, becaause I likes teh Elf amd teh pussy kat in teh Legend of Drizzt. You are right though it is not as gud as Claustrophobia, but only just *sigh*
Tybalt: Bollox! I is not having eny of this carp off od you lot! True Clawstrophobia has teh munsta kittehs, amd you know I loves teh munsta kittehs, but it is not a dunjeon craller!
Macavity: Damms it. He is right you know.
Tybalt: Damm straight I is... heh what? I is right? You sure? I is not normally right, not sure I likes being right. It is ver scary.
Poppy: But teh munsta Kittehs is all angry amd cute! Tells them Dinah, tells them.
Dinah: hmm... we said we would pick teh bestest dunjeon craller. We cant then says 'oh but teh munsta kittehs is cute' we would look like hippocats.
Tybalt: Remember that Drizzt has a ver big proper kitteh Poppy amd teh Elf with teh kat ears.
Poppy: True... but I love teh munsta kittehs!
Dinah: Would it makes you happy if we lets you sleep in teh Clawstrophobia box tonight?
Poppy: Yers, a little bit I suppose.
Macavity: We all agrees it has to be Drizzt?
Dinah and Tybalt: YERS!!!
Poppy: M'kay

Winner: Dungeons & Dragons: The Legend of Drizzt

Well we have our first finalist then. I have to agree again. The Legend of Drizzt is a big step up on the previous Dungeon & Dragons Adventure System Games, it's also an actual dungeon crawler and Tybalt... I can't believe I'm saying this... was right to stand up for what he believed was the right thing to do! Both games can be awesome fun, make no mistake about it. If you are after a more adversarial skirmish game experience then Claustrophobia could be the game for you. If you're after a slick, easy and quick dungeon crawling experience then right now I'm not too sure there are better options out there on the marketplace than The Legend of Drizzt.  The industry and all us hobbyists need these sorts of games to bring fresh blood in, however, the very fact that they're designed to be quick pick up and play experiences means that the Dungeons & Dragons Games simply get the fun started quicker, Claustrophobia takes time to settle into. I'm a fan of both but on the purity of the dungeon crawling game experience I'm going with the cats.

Dwarf Kings Hold: Dead Rising Vs Super Dungeon Explore

Macavity and Tybalt join forces to see Dwarf Kings Hold through to the final

Tybalt: Oh feck it! I was right last time amd now I has buggered it up fur Dead Rising!
Poppy: How have you?
Macavity: He made a sound argument that Drizzt should win as it was a truer dujeon craller, so...
Dinah: So what? Is Tybs always right now? I bloody hope not! No insult intended Tybs.
Tybalt: None taken you fat bitc...
Macavity: Back to teh games please! We is kats, amd so we is ver rational creatures.
Poppy: Much moar rational than hughmans.
Dinah & Tybalt: True.
Macavity: So what game has teh bestest miniatures?
Poppy: Easy! Super Dunjeon Explore. Chibi fur teh win!
Tybalt: Yers, better fur teh chewings, amd m'kay they is cut to.
Dinah: Yers, I concur with teh other kats.
Macavity: 1 vs 0 to Super Dunjeon Explore. What is teh better game?
Tybalt: No contest, Dead Rising!!! We approves it.
Macavity: Yers m'kay was a stoopid question I guess. One all tehn.
Dinah: It is not helping much. 2 vs 1 I says to Dead Rising because we also approved it.
Poppy: Yers, we dids likes it, I mean we likes it a lot. Right.
Macavity: M'kay 2 v 1 then. Which one is moar like a dunjeon craller though?
Tybalt: I hates saying it but...
Dinah: Super Dunjeon Explore is moar like a dunjeon craller.
Poppy: True, it even has Dunjeon in its name!
Macavity: Damns it!!! being rational is ver hard! 2 all.
Tybalt: Then purrhaps being rational is wrong? Purrhaps we needs moar feelings amd stuff?
Dinah: Yers sumthing that speaks to us kats inner beast?
Macavity: M'kay, right. Poppy, tis the last kattiegory amd it is up to you...
Poppy: Ooooh, I don't like pressure, or respusebilluty!!!
Macavity: Which box makes teh bestest Poppy bed?
Dinah: Really?
Macavity: Yers, now ssshh...
Poppy: Erm... teh Dead Rising box is small, but is gud size fur a Poppy Kat... but teh Super Dunjeon Explore one is bigger amd so I can stretch out on it... tis hard ginge...
Macavity: Focus Poppy, focus! Use teh paws!!!
Poppy: Yers... yers!!! I can feels teh paws flow through meh... Well I dids break teh Super Dunjeon Explore box ver easily... so that means Dead Rising wins I guess.
Macavity: 3 vs 2 tu Dead Rising then. We agrees it?
Poppy and Dinah: Yers!!!
Tybalt: Gud stitch up ginge, but yers!
Macavity: I thought it was a gud stitch up to!

Winner: Dwarf Kings Hold: Dead Rising

Macca takes charge like all good Chaircats!

Hmm... I was starting to respect the cats ability to stick to their plan, but in the end their fickle feline ways allowed them to get side tracked and go with the game they enjoyed the most. I think Macavity knew that although Dead Rising is an awesome game, it's not a dungeon crawler. As much as I didn't like playing Super Dungeon Explore for protracted periods of time it was certainly closer to the 'form' than Dead Rising. Although I guess it too isn't the purest dungeon crawler either. In the end I guess they went with gut instinct, which to be fair I would have gone with. Dead Rising might lack some of the spit and polish of Super Dungeon Explore. But beneath their superficial surfaces one is an enjoyable game offering tactical depth. Meanwhile the other is a vacuous airhead of a game with a very simplistic approach that doesn't offer much longevity. They were right to go with Dead Rising.

The cat inspect the semi-finalists before the drawer.

So there we have it, our two finalists are Dungeons & Dragons: The Legend of Drizzt and Dwarf Kings Hold: Dead Rising! Both are very worthy finalists and have had to beat off stern competition to get those last two spots. It's a fitting final, one a serious heavy weight contender with approval from cats. The other a good solid technical game that has built on previous versions, but one that also occupies the lighter side of the hobby with emphasis on fun and ease of play. One is adversarial the other co-operative... but... more importantly only one is a true dungeon crawler. What will the cats decide? Who will win? Does anyone even care? The cats decide tomorrow. Peace out!


  1. Looks like the stage is set for an epic showdown.

    I call shenanigans on Poppy being the deciding vote, however.
    As long as it worked out, I guess I'll let it pass. This time.
    I suspect catnip and kitty treat bribes may have played a part.

  2. I think the cats may have already tipped their paw, or is it a double bluff?

  3. Oh, and regarding being a true dungeon crawler, that's DKH4 :)

  4. @SinSynn, It actually was quite epic. There was a bit of a fight over the final. Tybs played his face and Dinah... erm...worked herself it a bit of a state over thing... and... erm... made herself ill. No kitty treats or cat nip was used in this review or article. Nope the cats just love boxes, if they could they'd build themselves a castle out of my gaming boxes.

    @Quirkworthy, I'm not so sure Jake. The cats took ages to decide the winner. Genuinely they didn't want to play ball in the final. Tybs didn't want to chew either sample, Poppy had no interest in either box for any period of time. Dinah didn't want to clean either box and macca didn't want to 'take part' in any games. I think they really struggled to decide.

    As for DKH4... you sir are a terrible tease!!! No fair. :(