Monday, 19 December 2011

Clash of the Dungeon Crawlers - By Cats

Poppy tests the strength of the various boxes... 'yers ver gud'

The Chaircat of the Ministry of Cat Approval contacted me earlier today via email. This has been followed up by a few telephone conversations regarding my ever burgeoning collection of Dungeon Crawlers. Macavity feels that the Ministry should try to work out for you all just which Dungeon Crawler is best. I thought this sounded like a great idea, and was about to suggest a format when Macavity cut me short. He and the other cats had a PowerPoint presentation to show me, and my attendance was requested. I have to say I was mightily impressed with the work and detail they'd put into their proposal, so much so I've decided to let them run with the idea. It's a simple one and I'll leave you in the capable hands of Macavity to explain it.

Helo meh hughman fryends I haz ver impurrtant infmazion wiv reegards tu teh articule on teh dunjeon crallers. Teh eyedea is a simpull wun. Wii taykes a lissed ov teh gaymes and poots tehm in a hatte and tehn wii piks tehm at randumb lyke yu du in teh sporwt cup thingies yu hughmans lyke. Wii Katz tehn rayte tehm agaynst eetch ovva tu fynd a winna outa tehm. Tehn du it alle agayn entill tehir iz ownlee wun leyft!!!

Dinah & Poppy discuss the relative merits of the Dwarf Kings Hold games

For those of you who struggle to speak 'cat' their idea is a simple knock-out contest, that is so beloved of our modern day sporting events. The cats will then rate the various games against each other. Although I need to be clear the cats are not trying to decide which one is the best game. No, instead they're trying to decide which of the games actually offers the purest, most authentic Dungeon Crawling experience. So who are the contenders?

  • Claustrophobia
  • Descent: Journeys in the Dark 1st Edition
  • Dungeons & Dragons: Castle Ravenloft
  • Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath of Ashardalon
  • Dungeons & Dragons: Legend of Drizzt
  • Dwarf Kings Hold: Dead Rising
  • Dwarf Kings Hold: Green Menace
  • Super Dungeon Explore

That's a pretty big list, although I must accept that it is by no means a comprehensive one. It is a list of the games I have played recently, and it's a list of games that the cats have been exposed to. I would like to make it clear that Macavity and his fellow cats took this endeavour extremely seriously. They were at no time high on cat nip or plagued by the 'munchies' and any claims to the contrary will be strenuously defended with seriously legal action. I would also like to put to rest any rumours that may be doing the rounds that they spent their entire budget for this article on a Sushi binge session and copious amounts of sake to wash it down. Again any claims to the contrary will be met with rigorous legal action! The draw for the Quarter finals is below:

Dungeons & Dragons: Legend of Drizzt Vs Dwarf Kings Hold: Green Menace
Claustrophobia Vs   Dungeons & Dragons: Castle Ravenloft
Descent: Journeys in the Dark Vs Super Dungeon Explore
Dwarf Kings Hold: Dead Rising Vs Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath of Ashardalon

The results of these match ups will be discussed in the next article and there were some seriously heated debates on some of them. There was also some serious debate as to whether or not the cats should include Gears of War in the competition. Princess Dinah Bear, Tybalt and Poppy thought they should because it bore all the hallmarks of a Dungeon Crawler in terms of mechanics and play style, despite the sci-fi setting. Macavity on the other hand strenuously disagreed, primarily because there were, and I quote 'marsheeen gunns amd meetheeds wherin armoar'... plus he threatened the other cats with violence if they continued to argue with him. So that was the end of that discussion. Peace out!


  1. So the criteria are:

    Taste of miniatures, ease of chewing, as well as number of fiddly bits to bat around.

    Size and comfort level of boxtop, as well as scratchability.

    Playability of the games will be based upon the decibel level of human screams when cats pounce upon the game table mid-game and scatter everything.

  2. @sinSynn... something like that. lol. The cats have actually decided the winners in their own 'unique' ways... genuinely as well. I just won't reveal their methods, well maybe I will just after Christmas. What's surprising though is that they've got it about right so far. Although I thought Descent would have done better because of the size of the box.