Review: Dreadfleet

 

You'll not find a box with more Cadavers or Broadsides!!!

OK, I think it's fair to say that I could potentially be considered a hostile reviewer, where this product is concerned. My cynic radar went off of the scale with how this product was announced, and then pimped out to the world, via a veiled threat of buy it now or miss out. It is this crass sort of marketing ploy that normally backfires, and does more harm to a companies reputation than good. That's a genuine shame because most people, perhaps even myself included, were judging the game on how it was handled as a product launch, rather than its merits as a game. However, rather than knee jerk into a rapid review of Dreadfleet, like some people have, I've taken my time to read the rules, played some games with various opponents, and have tried to judge the game on its constituent parts, and more importantly how it plays. I'm glad, in a way, that Games Workshop are still willing to give new products like Dreadfleet a go. It's just a shame that this new product isn't going to be given a decent shelf life, to see how it would have performed and evolved long-term, although after playing it I think it's a wise call to have made it a limited release. Although, looking at the shops round by me,  they're all still struggling a week later to sell their 15 to 20 copies they were given. So it's shelf life might be longer than the Games Workshop management wished for. Possibly running into half term, and dare I say it, the start of the Christmas sales period. That was not what they planned!!!

Product Description

It has stuff in the box.

This is a wargame in a box. And yes, there is a difference to all those 'games in a box' I've been buying. Those games are pretty much board games, and while Dreadfleet comes with it's own admittedly nice playing surface, it is not a board game. You get 10 main ships in the box, a few sea monsters and teeny tiny auxiliary ships and other stuff that are really just tokens. There are also a fair few islands, obviously with the now obligatory Games Workshop skulls, so there is also scenery in the box. The rulebook is actually a really nice little book, it's full colour and contains a lot of evocative artwork, but those who can't stand John Blanche's work should probably skip past most of that! The rulebook obviously contains the rules (now that would be an epic fail) but also a lot of background, and what gamers like to term 'fluff'. It's clear a lot of attention has been lavished on the book and those involved should feel rightfully proud of their achievements. There have been reports of some quite serious binding problems with it, but genuinely hand on heart I have not had a single problem with mine, and if I had you'd know I'd let rip with a broadside of my own... sorry I couldn't resist! Their are a few cards, which fulfill various functions in the game and while they look nice enough they don't actually feel that good. I thought looking at the size of the small cards that they might have been Fantasy Flight Games cards, but they don't feel quite as thick, or glossy. They could still be Fantasy Flight cards though, just not their premium cards. However the best thing in the box is undoubtedly the mat, now its not often that I, as a red blooded male (OK, a male) get excited about fabric, but you know what? It's not half bad! Although it's size does limit its usefulness for other game systems really.

The rulebook... why bother? Just draw random cards.

Gameplay 3.5 out of 10

Right, I'm going to get this out of the way right now. I haven't really enjoyed playing the game at all. I think there are just so many random elements at play here that skill plays very little, if any part of who is victorious. Now that might be OK for most people and indeed, I think it's OK for the odd game every now and then, but when you draw a fate card that means you're fleet is screwed before the game even starts... well it doesn't make you want to carry on. The underlying game mechanics are fine, if a little simplistic, and I think Phil Kelly has done a good job on the core gameplay mechanics. It's not too revolutionary or ground breaking, but there is a workable little game at its heart. What screws with this little core, for me, is just how random the wind is, and those bloody 'fate cards'. That's not even mentioning how the fricking damage works! It's clear that these randomising elements were brought in to level the playing field down to the best dice rolls and card flips. But is it fun? Not in the slightest.

At this stage all seemed well... we'd yet to play a game

I played the game with some of my close gaming buddies, you'll know the name 'The Cursed' and 'Mr Chaos Space Marine' if you've been reading my blog for a while, but we also had Sorrowshard from the Rant in E Minor blog, a confirmed Phil Kelly fan. He was the evenings designated 'voice of reason'. I hesitate as I say that though, because he rapidly became the games biggest critic, coining phrases like 'it's made of fail and AIDs', harsh? Yes. Un-PC? Definitely, but I feel the sentiment. Or my personal favourite 'man it's so bad it actually negates the power of awesome curry. Nothing should negate the power of awesome curry'. Want some more soundbites? From the cursed 'oh God, being raped by a Rhino sounds like more fun' to which Mr Chaos Space Marine replied 'and probably less painful'. Still not enough? How about 'FFS, how long does it take to play this game, I think I've missed two birthdays' or 'guys I think my life is passing before my eyes' and 'it's a total fun sponge' and least I forget 'I've got it! I understand it as a product. Games Workshop are using it as an evil plan to suck the life essence out of us all. I mean I feel like I'm dying right now, what about you guys?'. Those were the ones that I could put into print. It's a bad game people. Very, very bad.

Dreadfleet with grown up kids

Why? I hadn't caused any damage, but his ship was wrecked!

The first issue you'll come across is the playing area. I thought at first the 5' by 3' 6" gaming mat was a genius idea. Mainly because that is standard kitchen table size, however the game requires a lot of space around the outside of the play area, and eventually my games migrated up stairs to my gaming room and my 8' by 4' gaming table. Now I'm not the first person to point this out, and I'm pretty damn sure I'll not be the last, but keeping that gaming mat in place is a pain in the arse to do. It's easy to snag or catch, and just makes playing the game difficult, as it's easy to totally feck a game up by dragging the mat and moving all the ships and Islands. Playing the game with weights on each of the corners became rapidly commonplace. It's not like you can play the game without the mat either, as you need the wind counter tracker around the edge to track the winds position. It's not a big deal, but it is yet another minor annoyance. However, it did make leaning over the playing surface quite a hazardous task and a bit like doing a Krypton Factor challenge. If that cultural reference has sailed over your head, you're either way too young or not British!

My least favourite game mechanic. EVER!

But onto the game itself, if I must. The profile of the ships is all pretty easy to understand, as is the way they move. There isn't really too much to remember, and looking at the ships profiles they're all pretty much of a muchness. The first bit of random injected into the game is the initiative phase, which we're all used too. It's a straight forward roll a dice each and away you go, initiative can alternate every turn, which is neither a good or a bad thing really. Although it does mean you can't plan ahead safe in the knowledge you're going first or indeed second in the next turn. The next phase is the status phase, now ironically this actually became one of the longest phases to bloody play in the game because so many different effects ended up on each ship, and resolving them all became a minor industry, and so very, very dull. The worst phase though, and the one we all felt was what probably totally ruined the game was the fate phase. I don't think I've ever hated a phase in a game quite as much as I have this phase. In the first game I played, before a single ship had moved or done anything, I ended up with 4 damage cards on me because of 'fate'. Sorry it's rubbish and meant neither of us wanted to continue the game because it was just so randomly unfair.

Its a form of cruel and unusual punishment!

However, that was nothing. In subsequent games, the fate deck has swung the game wildly from favouring one side to the next. With no skill. No rhyme, nor reason. To be brutally honest with you the fate phase has more influence on who wins and who loses than the people playing the game. Is it fun? Not to me it isn't, and it leaves any victories and loses feeling totally hollow. As Mr Chaos Space Marine put it, 'the game may as well be a deck of cards you all draw from, until one of you pulls the winner card'. Yeah it is that bad. Why the ships are even placed on the board is beyond me. However, when they are on the board, controlling them is about as pleasurable as rubbing your face against a cheese grater, actually on second thoughts that's probably more pleasurable. Why? Well the wind, it changes its mind more than the current coalition Government! Every fate card you pull changes the wind, sending it either clockwise or counter clockwise around the board edge, they also change the strength of the wind. If you have a 'sail' ship this makes planning any tactical movement nigh on impossible and it's such a joyless task because of it. What happens pretty much every game, is that all your and your opponents ships end up in the center of the board randomly being blown into islands or each other, while you roll dice wandering what the point is.

But what of the much vaunted 'broadsides', I hear you ask? Oh boy! Well yep every ship can deal a 'devastating' broadside, not to each other mind you. No, they deliver them to your face and sap your will to live, and more than likely your opponents as well. Why? Well let me explain. Broadsides work at short, medium and long ranges. Nothing out of the ordinary there. At close range you're on 4+ to hit, medium 5+ to hit and at long range 6+ to hit. The number of dice in the broadside doesn't decrease, just the probability of hitting. Again nothing wrong with that. Each ship has an armour save to make, depending on how hard a hull they have. So far nothing really that should cause so much ire, right? Well yes, but after you've made those armour saves, any you failed means you have to draw a damage card... randomly. I've had a ship limping around with 6 damage cards all on different areas, still being effective, meanwhile I've watched as opponents were unlucky enough to draw 3 of the same type of damage card, say crew, and have their ship sunk. Even though theoretically they'd been doing better. It's mind numbingly stupid and just feels cheap. Conversley when you've hammered a ship with loads of damage and it's all nicely spread out, you feel cheated. So the action phase is full of epic fail as well, and nothing you EVER do feels like it was down to skill.

We could feel our life force slowly drain away

However, the most damning criticism is saved for just how long this dirge of a game takes to play. Were it entertaining, or even mildly diverting it wouldn't be so bad that games can take upwards of four hours to play. Yeah, you did read that right, four fricking hours of mind numbing tedium and mental torture. I don't think the English language can properly describe the emotional scar that has been left on my psyche. An indelible black stain so foul it hurts. I feel somewhat damaged by the experience, I don't think I'll ever look at a dice or a card in the same way again. It sucked all of the joy out of the evening, and none of us had the will to try the excellent looking Blood Bowl living card game from Fantasy Flight Games. We briefly discussed if a quick game of Gears of War, Dwarf Kings Hold or Infinity might lift our spirits, but we decided we couldn't face another dice roll that night. This game is a joy vampire, feeding off of any love for the hobby you might have, until all that's left is a dried out husk, where once before stood an enthusiastic gamer.

If your copy of Dreadfleet still looks like this, get your money back. Now!

Dreadfleet with actual kids

Look, I know we're grizzled cynical gaming veterans. We are a demanding bunch, and we've played many different games over many years, and we're not going to be the easiest bunch of people to please. So I inflicted Dreadfleet on my nephews, because I thought it might have been a kids game. May God have mercy on my immortal soul... I'm screwed aren't I? I'm going to hell for child abuse, where my soul shall burn for all eternity and damnation, writhing in agony and pain that transcends all other worldly known forms of pain. Eternally cursed, driven mad by tortures unspeakable. Yeah, it's that bad. But, it started quite well. Nephew 1, the eldest of the two (15 years old) actually wanted to give it a go. He actually used to play wargames with me when he was younger, although I was saddened to find out in his local group of friends, wargaming has died somewhat. However, he seemed up for it. Even though he did say some of the ships looked like 'playmobil' toys. Nephew 2, the younger nephew (8 years, going on 9) just seemed excited to be playing a game, because he hadn't played many before.

To be fair, Nephew number 2 quite enjoyed the game and the act of rolling the dice and pulling the cards. Me and the Cursed tried our hardest to put our brave happy faces on, we did pirate voices. We bigged things up, and it seemed to be working. Dreadfleet wasn't that bad now was it? Nephew number 1 though started to look less convinced 'why the hell has the wind changed again?' but we pushed on. It was no surprise that Nephew number 1 with his superior age and gaming skills was positioning his ships better and should have been dealing the damage. However, he started to look frustrated 'how come I have more damage on my ships? He's shot me once! Do we have to use the fate cards'. Nephew number 2 though still seemed to be finding it funny that his older brother was beset by ghostly pirates, flying pirahna and other random crap. Then something started to happen, nephew number 2 asked me a question, 'when will this game end?', a sure sign that he was getting bored. However, just to make sure that I got the none too subtle hint... 'I'm bored now.'

Anguish, agony, boredom. So many emotions.

Oh dear, one game of Dreadfleet and my two nephews were unsure, 'do you want it for your birthday I asked?'... puzzled looks came back across the table... but nephew number 1 is shrewd, 'how much does it cost?', 'well £70' I replied. Pause, 'nah you're alright. I'll take the money and run'. Hmmm, we taught this one well I think. Nephew 2 wasn't so sure though, 'I want the ships' so maybe we had a convert after all. 'Can you play a different game with the ships?' oh OK, maybe not. I think he really only enjoyed our amateur dramatics, and the joy of rolling dice. He'd have been just as happy playing any game at all... in fact, that was exactly the case because he actually had more fun with other stuff. So I'm left scratching my head about just exactly who this product is aimed at. Or indeed what it's true purpose is. The visual veneer puts adults like me off, yet attracts younger kids. The game though is too long and 'involved' for those younger children, and eventually it'll bore them. Yet it has none of the tactics that us adults wanted, and a complete lack of control that begged the question why bother. As nephew number 1 put it 'if a wargame isn't about planning your movement, what the hell is it about?'... quite! As to it's purpose, perhaps it was designed to be so dire that we'd all think 8th edition Fantasy wasn't so bad after all, it's the only plausible excuse for it being so bad.

Detail 7 out of 10

When will it end? Someone pass me the cyanide

Boy, where to begin? At first glance on the spru's the ships looked relatively detailed. However, on closer inspection I don't think they are. They're not bad given they're actually plastic ships at quite a small scale, and to be fair plastic isn't all that great at picking up fine scale detail. Games Workshop do well to get the detail they do out of the substance with their miniatures. No, plonking these ships down next to some Dystopian Wars ships just shows what detail can be crammed onto miniatures that small. Forget, for a second, any stylistic preferences you might have, I don't think the Dreadfleet ships on detail alone stand up to the latest resin offerings from Spartan Games. Stylistically I don't like them either as they have a very childish design to them that doesn't appeal to me personally, but, if they float your boat then feel free to ignore what I've just said. They will also be a right bugger to paint because they come in many fiddly little parts that get in the way of each other so it's probably best to either paint these on the spru or as separate pieces and then glue them together. Below are my brief thoughts on each ship in the box, with the studio paint job:

• Heldenhammer - Yikes, I guess for me it kind of looks a bit like a floating banana, as the curve of the ship from front to back is just too exaggerated for me. The sails look OK but the fo'castle looks over the top even for a 'fantasy' based game. It looks like a kids toy, and maybe the colours they've selected to do the studio paint job in don't help with that. But for me it's just not an aesthetic I personally find pleasing. Although I'm aware others more than likely will disagree with me, and that's fine. But this is my review.

• Seadrake - I normally go nuts over anything to do with pointy eared elves. So this should be a home run, but it's not. Looking like a strange cross between a Viking longship, tea clipper and an Ulthuan mages tower.. it's a jumbled up design mess. The dragon on the back could have been a nice touch, but the angle it is sitting on the ship makes its profile look weird and gives the ship a weird 2D feel. Yuk.

• Grimnir'sThunder - It's not all bad though! I adore the Dwarf ship. Its boxy, it's mechanical looking and it's totally awesome. A+. Now, although I currently have Dwarf Warhammer army I think it's fair to say that I don't normally get on the the aesthetics of the short fat beardy ones, so this is a win for me. It has some nice internal details too.

• Swordfish - This boat was almost, very nearly, perfect. As a boat it looks good, the hull is a nice shape and there's some nice detailing on it. I like the height of the sails, and think it looks the part. Then I look at the prow. Now I know its supposed to have a ram on it. I know it's called the Swordfish, but that nose on the thing looks ridiculous. Total face palm moment. The sail to the back also unbalances the piece slightly. Still overall it's not half bad.

• Flaming Scimitar - Great idea for a boat, really imaginative in some respects, but suffers from the problem that a lot of the other boats suffer from, insofar that they are hulls with whatever building the race has, stuck on top. I'm not too sure the two Djinn work either and the sails leaning forward like they do doesn't quite work in my opinion. However, it's not as irksome as the Seadrake or Heldenhammer.

• Bloody Reaver - Horrible mess of a miniature. It's a castle, on a rock surrounded by broken ships, a skull or two and some teeth like things. I guess it's an update of the horrid Man-o-War Black Ark miniature in some ways, and I'm sure that was the inspiration. Thing is the original wasn't very inspiring either! One of my most hated Man-o-War ships. Look it's a hodge podge of ideas that does not come off at all.

• Skabrus - I quite like this as a concept. The idea that the Skaven have taken some long since dead whale like creature, gutted it and filled it with warp lightening cannons. What's not to like? Well the miniature for starters. It's just so nondescript in the flesh, if you excuse the pun. There's no detail and it just looks like a pimple or a floating turd.

• Curse of Zandri - Looks like something you'd see in an episode of Stargate... and no that's not a complement. However, compared to many of the other ships in the game there is actually some nice detailing on this ship itself. The oars in particluar are well defined and the pyramid has some nice markings. It is just that I don't like the look of it.

• Shadewraith - Brilliant idea. Fantastically well executed, arguably the best ship in the box for me... and half of it is missing. I love it though, and I don't think it could've been done in any other substance but plastic. The skeletal type frame of the ghostly ship is great and being able to see straight through it shouts ghost ship. As do those tattered sails. It hits the design brief bang smack in the center of the target for me. I know some don't like the flappy bits underneath the ship, but I don't mind them.

• Black Kraken - Now this is the best 'ship', and I use the phrase loosely, in the box. I love it, just like I love the Ika Squid from Dystopian Wars as well. It keeps the steam punk fan inside me happy and it does look utterly ace, with its metal tentacles and huge metal gears whirring away. Only thing is why the hell would a Chaos Dwarf sorcerer ever venture onto the high seas? I mean, don't they slowly turn to stone? One quick shove overboard and mutiny complete!

I think though, it's fair to say my youngest nephew thought the ships were cool, so maybe other young kids will like them. A few more things for you to consider about the ships. They have some very delicate pieces and clipping them off of the spru's you need to be careful, because some of the bits look like they might snap, if you got careless. Also watch out for 'flying plastic' syndrome. We've all had it happen to us, when little plastic parts hurl themselves into the air as they are released from their 'plastic spru prison'. There are a number of small parts on this spru that you'll need to cup with your hands, or clips into a plastic bag, so you don't lose them.

The rulebook is a good quality book, for a game in a box rulebook, and is actually a really good size, with lots of nice colour pictures and back story. The layout is clear and well presented and I have found it easy to flick through and to use as a reference tool while playing. This is aided considerably by a really neat touch, which is having a comprehensive Index of terms and rules printed on the back page cover. A really nice touch and one that others should copy. The rules are clear enough and precise, and the page design is full of character. It's loaded with some very nice looking artwork as well. The cards though, although clear enough to read and well designed are flimsy feeling and are a big disappointment. They feel cheap, and after thumbing through the cards for games like Gears of War and Mansions of Madness recently. Dreadfleets cards do not stack up against the cards from those products. These cards will also get a fair old thumbing through as well during the game, and I fear they'll look tatty and dog eared in no time at all. The final component though is that sea mat. The detailing and surface print is really, really nice. I can also confirm it's pretty much non-crease after spending some time trying to see if I could get it to crease, all to no avail. Look what I put myself through when testing products for you guys!!!

A glimmer of quality in a sea of crap!

Quality 7 out of 10

Wow, lets start with those cards. They're utterly dire, some of them are already starting to bend and bow after only 6 games. Can that really be right? No I don't think so, because other similar sized cards from games like Mansions of Madness that have seen many more outings, so far still look as good as new. The size of the cards really did make me think they might have been produced by Fantasy Flight Games, but holding the two products side by side they really aren't comparable. One is thick, firm and has a plastic feel to it, a quality card. The other is a Dreadfleet card. Horrid. The gaming mat isn't bad, but actually in use it's a bit too light and easy to move or catch with a watch, or other such blingery. It doesn't actually work in practice as well as it probably should. Nice idea, and even too an extent, a well executed product, it's just not a fit for purpose as a playing surface, especially on a nicely polished kitchen table, if you can find one it'll all fit on! The miniatures though are what is the biggest disappointment for me. I expect quite a lot now from Games Workshop plastics, and it's their own fault it really is. Because they do such a great job with their plastics, and they have set the bar high for themselves. However, I am not impressed with the quality of the ships and all the Islands. They look cheap and they feel cheap. The only quality component in the box that does its job well is the rulebook, and as I've pointed out elsewhere others are gripping about the quality of the binding. Again I must stress I've had no such issues and I think it's probably just a dodgy batch. Thing is, with stock levels 'supposedly' running down do you want to risk getting one of the duffers, when they'll be none left to replace it with if it does fall apart?

Cheap and nasty feeling card components

Service N/A out of 10

I guess this could possibly be scored as the best service ever, given it turned up unannounced ready for me to play without even lifting a finger to get it. Thing is though not many of you out there have friends like me, who think nothing of dropping a few 'notes' to cheer a fellow friend up. Except I'm not necessarily sure that's what was originally intended now. You see, having played the game I'm sure they intended it to actually kill me. Yeah, I think Dreadfleet is that bad it might drive you to suicide! However, you all know what you think of your local Games Workshop, or local games store, or the mail order service you normally use, so insert your own relevant score above! Just remember every time someone buys Dreadfleet and Angel dies... and no, not of the Blood or Dark variety, so there really is no upside to buying this game.

Price 5 out of 10

Yeah, yeah, I know I got it for free, and I should be way more grateful. Perhaps that's true, and I am grateful to the friends who got it for me, I really am. Because I am glad I've been able to play it, and give you all my honest thoughts on it. However, I am reviewing this as if I'd dumped £70 of my own money on this product. Right now I don't think what is in the box is worth anywhere near £70. I look at what I got in my Dust Tactics box set and the first Edition Descent box set, then I glance at what you get in Dreedfleet and it just doesn't seem to me to be as good a deal. I don't like the miniatures, I don't think there is that much actually in the box when all is said and done, and I'm not too sure it is that great a product over all. I wouldn't knowingly spend £70 on a copy right now if I was walking into a shop, I'd rather drop that money getting something for one of the games they still plan on supporting. Maybe if I had kids it'd be something I might play with them. Plus looking on ebay, it's quite clear that despite people trying to sell them at £140, they are not actually selling for that, or anywhere near that right now. It seems people are trying to break the box sets up to sell the individual components, which doesn't bode well for it holding its price long term, like Space Hulk did. This isn't a gaming investment.

Dreadfleet as God intended. Sealed, never to be opened.

Overall 5.5 out of 10

I'm going to be honest and say that scoring this has not been an easy task in the slightest. On the one hand it's not a bad game to play with young kids, in some respects, but even then it takes too long and can drag on too long. As a pure game system, without those stupid bloody cards, I'd be tempted to give it maybe a 6 out of 10. I suppose for some who just want to roll dice and switch their brains off it could be fun, if that is all you are going to play it for. Because the fact remains it's so random that tactics might as well be throw out the window. It's all down to the luck of the dice and the draw of the cards, and with kids I'm sure that's brilliant, if the game wasn't so boring, and long to play. With grizzled gaming veterans those problems are just exacerbated, if we want silly fun games we know there are way better products out there! If you want a proper tactical game you can forget this. However, it wasn't designed for that, it's a one shot release. I think aimed at kids around about 10 to 14, it's a hobby diversion to try and keep things fresh I guess for 40k and Fantasy gamers, whether it works as that is a moot point for me, because I'm currently playing neither game, and this certainly won't entice me back. But, the biggest problem it has as a product is that it was a dead game before it even sold a single copy...

The game system that Phil Kelly has written does deserve, in some respects, to have been given a bigger hearing, and maybe more time to grow into a proper game system, instead I feel like Phil was probably developing the game with one hand tied behind his back. It should have been Man-o-War Mk.II. But it's not. This is part of Games Workshops problem. The same problem I mentioned a few weeks ago now, the Design Studio can't support, or develop these kind of niche game systems properly, for the long-term. Because it doesn't help support their retail chain and vice versa... so I find it a frustrating product. On the one hand I'm really pleased to see that Games Workshop were willing to give something new a go, and also that they let Phil Kelly run with it, even if it was a swing and a miss. Yet on the other hand, the way in which they have released this product is so very, very annoying, it feels cheap and for a £70 product that's not good. Plus it's a rubbish game. I really don't think most people will get £70's worth of pleasure from it, because as I've said the games it produces are dire, joyless events. I think it'll get played a few times by most, maybe even only once or not at all. Then it'll sit on the top of peoples wardrobes gathering dust. It's such a waste, and I wouldn't spend £70 on this game now, knowing what I do, and I'd advise you all to steer well clear of it as well. Peace out!