|The seal that denotes the pinnacle of quality|
As many of you will know I own 4 beastly, vicious, humongos and rather cute Maine Coon cats. These critters are a very discerning bunch as it happens and will only give their paws up to the highest quality merchandise. As such I have been working hard behind the scenes with my four cats and their representatives about developing an 'Approved by Cats' rating and seal of approval scheme. This unique scheme will appear in my reviews of products in the future to identify those items that are indeed 'Approved by Cats' and will only be given to the very best products out there. The panel that will judge whether a product is deserving of this prestigious accolade are below:
He is the largest of the cats and clearly the boss. As Chaircat of the Ministry of Cat Approval he suffers no fools and although slow to temper once roused is quite the formidable foe. He is however as just and fair as he is brutally honest. The smartest and most intelligent of his cohort he feels the weight of such responsibility weigh heavy on his shoulders, but he'll carry it with him to his grave if needs be. He knows that it's up to him to uphold the integrity and sanctity of the Ministry of Cat Approval and to ensure his fellow cats carry out their duties with the utmost integrity and professionalism... and if they don't he'll kill them.
Here Macavity can be seen looking at the plans for the new office facilities the Ministry of Cat Approval (he later flipped and killed a few interior designers)
The oldest of the four cats (although she vigorously denies it), but not by much, she demands respect... but gets very little. Clearly a bit of a primma donna, she believes herself to be some form of princess, her imaginary title is Princess Dinah Bear of Dinebearia... the other cats humour this eccentric behaviour because her judgement on fine quality products is second to none, she knows her sparkling wine from her Champagne and can spot a fake a mile off. Dinah is also willing to offer her opinion even when explicitly asked not too, she is very vocal and not easily pleased.
Here we can see Dinah posing for the Ministy of Cat Approvals Annual General Report, she later fired the photographer for being a 'moron'!!!
The naughty cat! Tybs as he's known by his friends (not that he has many) is a complete arse. He lives to cause other living organisms nothing but pain and misery. He does however play a vital roll in the awarding of a prestigious 'Approved by Cats' award... he's the cat that tests a products destructability. He loves nothing more than chewing, clawing and generally destroying anything he can get his paws on. A violent force of nature, hell bent on mayhem and havoc Tybs should have been a super villain with a mask and cape... instead he's now a bloody bureaucat!!!
Here we see Tybs taking a pause for the cause in the Ministry of Cat Approvals laboratories, testing things to destruction is a tiring thankless task!!!
The loud mouthed youngster, Poppy needs to make her mark on the world... by running head long into it and leaving a cat shaped impression. Her desire to be acknowledged means she has a bizarre relationship with authority, craving its approval yet wanting to be 'seen' means she does things that bring her directly into conflict with authority figures. If she should zig, she'll zag, always going against the grain by natural inclination. She'll prove a difficult cat to bring into line with the other 3. Her role is to act as the final check for a product receiving the official stamp, her natural inclination to disagree with the other three cats means that for her to fall in line with the others a product must be truly outstanding!!!
Poppy sits next to a computer so she can pretend to be working!!!
This fickle bunch of feline connoisseurs make up the the Ministry of Cat Approval's panel of experts. For a product to receive such a high honour as the official 'Approved by Cats' seal of approval will require the unanimous agreement of the entire panel. Should one cat feel the product does not merit their approval then no award will be issued. This stringent approval process has been instigated to ensure that only the finest products ever receive this prestigious accolade. The Ministry has agreed to award a few items reviewed previously on this blog and will supply me with details as and when there deliberations are complete (when I feed them more cat treats). They are prepared to issue their first actual badge though today in a review. They have even informed me that they fully intend to actually give the award to an actual company that has proved beyond a doubt to provide simply purrfect product every time. Peace out!